Cai Graham Photography - Blog

Trash the Dress - Wedding Dress Photo Shoot.

2011-01-27T22:40:00.000Z

Do you ever sign up to something, knowing that it's going to be a success and you are going to have great fun in the process ? Well this is what happened to me yesterday.

I was lucky enough to have the company of a great girl for a Trash the Dress fashion shoot.

'Trash the Dress' was initially an American idea, but it has now started becoming more popular over here. And why not? The cake and the champagne are all but a memory. What a great excuse for brides to wear their treasured wedding dress again and have beautiful fashion photographs taken as a memory of another brilliant outing.

Julie is a terribly busy lady. Not only is she a Personal Trainer, but she is also an avid fundraiser and events organiser. Not to mention that she is a Mum of four wonderful kids.

Our shoot started at the Ulster Folk and Transport Museum in Cultra.

Right from the off, Julie was open to any suggestions that would help us create some fabulous images. Actually is was her idea to jump up here :

We were so fortunate that the weather was kind to us - but poor Julie was terribly uncomplaining in the cold January wind on the beach.

My assistant for the week AJ ( a work experience student ) was able to get first hand understanding of how a shoot works, from start to finish. We had an absolute blast and I cannot thank Julie enough for making the session such fun and a great learning experience for AJ.

Why not make your dress happy and book yourself in for an exciting photo session.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on :

T : 02891853478
W: www.caigrahamphotography.co.uk

Women In Business NI - Voices Heard - January 2011

2011-01-27T20:29:00.000Z

Last week Women in Business Northern Ireland, ran an event at Parliament Buildings on the Stormont Estate. The event "Voices Heard", gave the organisation's delegates the opportunity to discuss the big issues affecting women in business today with the panel of highly successful women.

Some of the delegates were fortunate enough to have a tour of Parliament Buildings before the event started. We were given a potted history of the building itself - and were able to see the inside of the Chamber - but ( alas ) no photographs could be taken. This is as far as I got ...

The panel comprised a number of high profile ladies from across various business disciplines from within Northern Ireland.
The group was ably headed by new WIB member Pamela Ballantine. Pamela is a freelance Northern Irish television presenter, best known for her 27 year career at UTV.

Professor Yvonne Galligan, QUB
Yvonne Galligan is Professor in the School of Politics, International Studies and Philosophy at Queens University - Belfast. Yvonne is Chair of the Queen's Gender Initiative and runs the 'Women into Politics' programme through her academic work.

Anna Lo - MLA
Anna was born in Hong Kong and worked in London for a year prior to coming to live in Northern Ireland in 1974. She was awarded an MBE in 1999 for Services to Ethnic Minorities. In March 2007, she was elected to serve as the MLA for South Belfast for the Alliance Party, and consequently the first ethnic Chinese person to be elected to a legislative parliament in Europe. Anna is a member of the Assembly committees for Employment & Learning, and Social Development.

Lesley Hogg - AES Kilroot Power Ltd

Director of Strategic and Regulatory affairs for AES in Northern Ireland. AES is the largest independent electricity generator in Ireland. Prior to this, Lesley was the CEO of Premier Power Ltd owner of Ballylumford Power Station.

Tracy Hamilton - Mash Direct Ltd

Tracy is a Director of Mash Direct Ltd. She is the first female to sit on the Board of NIFDA ( Northern Ireland Food and Drink Association ) and also sits on the Board of Food NI and the Industry Advisory Panel.

Christine Boyle - WIB, Past Chair

Christine is Managing Director of Lawell Asphalt Company Ltd. in the construction sector, specialising in Roofing and Waterproofing. Christine was a founder member of the Women in Business Network.

I always find the Women in Business events great fun and very inspiring. This event was no exception. We were able to hear how these successful ladies managed to juggle family life and business commitments and still come out ahead.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on :

T : 02891853478
W: www.caigrahamphotography.co.uk

W: www.caigrahamphotography.co.uk

FREE Portrait Session ... Trash the Dress.

2011-01-22T17:01:00.003Z

I am offering a FREE photo session for an adventurous lady who does not mind getting her wedding dress a teensy bit dirty.

If you aren't sure what Trash The Dress means - then allow me to explain.
It is a great excuse to get your wedding dress out of mothballs and to have another beautiful set of images taken. Historically the dress often got totally destroyed - personally I think that this might be a step to far - but I must warn you that it might need a bit of a dry clean by the end of the shoot!

If you are free either Wednesday 26th or Thursday 27th January and would like to give your wedding dress another airing then please get in touch. However, please note that if you don't have a wedding dress - then a formal dress or prom dress will do just was well.

I am a wedding and portrait photographer working in Helen's Bay, County Down; so if you could make it to Helen's Bay, then I have a number of fab locations in mind. The beach and Crawfordsburn Country Park aren't terribly far away.

The reason for this shoot is that I am wanting to pull together a panel of images to submit as an application to help me advance my professional photography qualifications. Some of the images might also be submitted for competitions.

In return I will provide you with a disk of the high-res images from the shoot that you can use however you wish.

Please have a look at my website for examples of my work.

If you are still interested, then please get in touch via email or facebook.

2011 SWPP Convention : Going Underground with Damian McGillicuddy.

2011-01-20T22:00:00.000Z

I have returned from the 2011 SWPP Convention, all in one piece and I can safely say that my week in London was amazingly frantic and incredibly worthwhile.

I was able to stay with my brother and his family whilst I was there - however, I fear that I was guilty of treating them a bit like a hotel. But is was a real treat to return after a long hectic day to a bit of calm, not to mention the slightly earlier nights than some of my colleagues experienced!

Anyway, I am home and now - feeling very inspired and raring to go.

Over the next while I shall blog about my Convention highlights and give you an insight in to what I learnt whilst rubbing shoulders with the great and the good in the Photography world.
There was so much talent buzzing about - I was only sad that there were not enough hours in the day to meet everyone.

Damian ( The Big Dog ) McGillicuddy. My first day was spent with some like-minded photographers keen to learn about lighting techniques from Damian McGillicuddy.
It's so important for me to keep advancing my photography; and lighting was an area where I want to refine my skills.
We travelled to Aldwych Underground station - which is arguably the most used 'dis-used' tube station. It is often hired out to film and TV companies, so we were obviously in the right place.

Damian and Team McGillicuddy were terribly generous with both their time and advice. Below are a couple of images I came away with.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on :

T : 02891853478
W: www.caigrahamphotography.co.uk

SWPP Convention 2011

2011-01-10T21:58:00.000Z

I am so excited. I am heading to London for 5 days - on my own. But it's not quite a jolly - there is quite a lot of work involved. I am attending the SWPP ( Society of Wedding and Portrait Photographers ) Annual Convention.

Last year was my first year and believe me it was a real baptism of fire. This time around I know exactly what I am letting myself in for; so I am hoping that I am better prepared.

I have planned a chaotic time-table so I am going armed with notebooks and energy bars, cameras and comfy shoes.

Last year I was lucky enough to have booked myself on a Superclass with Jerry Ghionis. One comment he made really stood out to me.

You cannot necessarily be the best - but you should aim to be better than you were last month.

I wholeheartedly agree and I really want to keep progressing and improving my style. So this year, I have signed up to a number of Superclasses where I will have the opportunity of learning even more from the experts.

THURSDAY :

Damian McGillicuddy : On Thursday I am heading with a few very lucky souls on a full day Location Seminar with Damian. We are heading to the London Underground for a fashion shoot. He is promising to 'propel my photography forward'. No Pressure then !

Let the photographer that the popular photographic press most often call "the magician" or the "lighting wizard" guide you through the mechanics of a full on fashion shoot.

I am really looking forward to this - but if I am being truthful - I am a teensy bit terrified.

FRIDAY :

Sue Altenburg : Is going to help me build my boudoir business. Women nowadays are wanting to treat themselves as well as their other halves to some beautiful imagery of themselves.

This area of the market is growing fast in Northern Ireland - and to be quite frank - I want a piece of it.

Trade Show : Personally speaking, I think that in order to be successful, we have to be able to offer the client something unique and it is crucial to keep abreast with what is available and different in the industry. And it is for this reason that I am attending the Trade Show on Friday. This is a chance for me to source new products and to meet the major manufacturers from all over the world. I feel also that it is important to nurture good working relationships with suppliers and this give me a chance to chat with the right people who can help me achieve the level of service of which I am very proud.

Becker [b] : Is one of the many photographer who has come over from the States. I have been a bit of a fan for a while now - so I look forward to him sharing his experiences in producing fantastic imagery and 'outstanding customer service for his clients that turn them into raving fans.' Yes please !

Art P Suwansang : Is a master with the computer and will share his expertise in the post production area of photography. This can be both time-consuming and laborious - and Art promises to put the magic back into editing.

Uzair Kharawala : is going to shed some light ( excuse the pun ) on the business strategies required to help a business survive the economic downturn. I think in this current climate it's prudent to address all challenges in business.

SATURDAY :

I have planned two great Superclasses.

Barrie Downie : In the morning, I am hoping to learn from Barrie how to enhance my wedding photography using supplementary lighting which will help me to create dramatic creative images.

Andrea Barrett : In the afternoon, I am going to learn more about working only with available light on location. Andrea is going to help me achieve stunning pictures which will differentiate me from the competition. Woo Hoo.

SUNDAY :

The Yerburys : I am really excited to be meeting Trevor and Faye on the Sunday afternoon. They are renowned for their portraits of women. I just know that I will learn a lot not only about capturing the images - but also an insight into refining my marketing techniques.

It's not all work however. I am also really excited to be meeting old friends in the industry and to meet up with some new ones. I find that those in the industry are a very generous bunch of folk and I look forward to catching up and comparing notes again this year.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on :

T : 02891853478
W :www.caigrahamphotography.co.uk

My Three Words for 2011

2011-01-03T23:12:00.001Z

I am not a fan of New Year's resolutions. I always think that we are somehow setting ourselves up for failure. So again I have made a conscious effort not to make new rules - just to break them later on.

I use Twitter on and off - and follow Chris Brogan. One of his most recent posts set me thinking : You can see it here.

Basically he uses 3 words as his guiding light throughout the year. These three words are likely to be different for each person. It's personal. It's all about you. I decided that this year that I would try his approach.

ADAPT : The only constant is change. This year is going to be massive for me. I know that already. Come September, I will be sitting in an empty nest and that scares the hell out of me. So what am I going to do about it ? Well - I am going to prepare for it. I am going to accept the changes and set my ducks in a row. I am fortunate enough to know that my changes are coming and therefore I have time to get ready and prepare for this metamorphosis. Rather than wallow in self pity, I can look forward to creating a new me ... ( OK - with a little apprehension ).

Someone once said : "If you have nothing to cry about - you probably have a fairly empty life."

I hope there aren't going to be too many tears. But I want to embrace the ups and the downs of 2011.

GRATITUDE : There are many people in my life who mean such a lot to me and I want to enjoy their company more. I want to make more of an effort to be with them. I need to surround myself with people who make me feel good and distance myself from the 'magic-takers'.
That aside - I feel that it is important to be more accepting of others, of their weaknesses and their differences. I read somewhere that we should be more gracious and not so quick to judge.

I want to appreciate what I have. What's working for me and what's not ?

What's most important to me ? My family and my home - period. A close second are my friends. I also love spending time at my job. I hate to say it's my passion as that word is so over-used now - but my photography business is one thing that truly defines me.
However, I want to be able to give them all 100%. To accomplish this I have to look after myself. One of my facebook friends left a post yesterday saying her resolution was :

To enjoy everyday with nobody else's agenda to consider.

'What would you enjoy doing today?' - will be my daily question this year.

That's just fab! I think I'll have a piece of that. What one thing can I do each day - just for me ?
I love having coffee with friends. I love walking in the fresh air. I love travelling. I love a good cup of coffee. There are so many small things that make a difference to our lives. What makes you feel good ?

FOCUS : I need more of this. I have the attention span of a cocker spaniel. No sooner have I embarked on a task that I am sniffing around for something better - something else to concentrate on. I find it hard to finish things. I need to finish things. So, although I am a terribly organised person - I lack focus. I must concentrate harder to be a completer ( is that a word ? )

This flitting from one task to another is a complete time waster. I know this and yet I still cannot get the balance right. Well in 2011 I have to make a concerted effort to get things done.

How do you do this ? If anyone can help me here I will be eternally grateful.

SO - Have you made resolutions - or perhaps you have a few words that might be guiding you through 2011. Fancy sharing them ?

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on :

T : 02891853478
W :www.caigrahamphotography.co.uk

New Year's Resolution : How to lose weight - easily

2011-01-02T20:42:00.000Z

I am sick to death with dieting and watching what I can and cannot eat - and this year is no exception.
Actually - truth be told I have decided to ditch the "Lose a stone in a fortnight" resolution and I am going to go to the gym a little bit more. Actually going to the gym at all would be better than what I am currently doing - so it's not going to be hard to improve.

But for all the calorie conscious out there - here is a small chink of hope.

You know that awful feeling then you want something sweet. The immediate reaction is for you to totally try your hardest NOT to think about it. You open the fridge and reach for the pre-prepared carrot batons which are designed to take your mind of that awful craving ... ( FAIL ).

Well BBC News Online have the answer to all your prayers.

Apparently a study has found that if your actually concentrate on this food craving, and if you do so for long enough, then apparently it has the same effect of reducing the desire to pig out on what's exactly on your mind.

So next time you are reaching for the celery sticks - sit down with a glass of ice cold ( slimming ) water and imagine fist full of chocolates.

Regrettably, I don't have the will-power or the desire to put myself through that sort of mental torture. It's more than likely that I will grab my sweeties and vow that next time I get to the gym that I will do an extra mile on the tread-mill.

Good Luck.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on :

T : 02891853478
W :www.caigrahamphotography.co.uk

What the Scientists said were good for us in 2010.

2010-12-31T11:32:00.001Z

Yesterday I was touching on some of the the advice we received from the scientists during this year What the Scientists said to avoid in 2010. However as we know too well, there are two sides to every coin - they also gave us guidelines to some of the things that they said were actually good for us.

Eating Red-hot Chilli Peppers : The experts in China suggest that eating these little firecrackers help reduce hypertension. Perhaps I need to have a Vindaloo tonight, as we have agreed to the kids having a few mates round to see the new year in. I might just need a little something to help lower my blood pressure!

Going Bald : ( an immediate sigh of relief from one side of my family ). My father-in-law started to lose his hair in his early twenties and without mentioning any names - a couple of his sons seem to have inherited that gene. However, scientists have suggested that those gentlemen who might be 'follically challenged' have a reduced risk of developing Prostate Cancer. It's all about the higher levels of testosterone. This come as some comfort - as personally speaking - I feel that one bout of Prostate Cancer is enough for any family to endure. My darling Dad is a survivor of this disease. Incidentally, he has more hair than my beloved husband Mike :o)

A cooked breakfast : ( an immediate sigh of relief from the other side of my family - not the bald ones! ). Apparently this can help you lose weight.... um - if you are a mouse. Ok, so they are at the early stages of research here. But US scientists have suggested that eating a high-fat meal in the morning, kick starts the metabolism into overdrive. Woe-betide the soul who opts for a full Ulster fry at night - you'll end up with that spare tyre you never wanted.

£50,000 a year : Two researchers in Princeton concluded that approximately £50,000 was just enough to maintain the happiness equilibrium. With this sum, we should be able to pay for what matters most to us - which is maintaining health and enjoying our leisure. They suggested that those receiving higher salaries experienced lower satisfaction levels - possibly as their earnings equated to more stressful jobs. I suggest a monthly trip out with the folks from work to the local curry house to redress the balance.

Love : like we don't already know, is a panacea to many ills. It reduces blood pressure, combats depression and promotes healing. We are now being told that love can also act as a natural anaesthetic. Volunteers who looked at a photograph of a loved one experienced less pain than those who didn't.
So, you know what to do in 2011 - for the sake of your health ... remember to book a family portrait session with Cai Graham Photography to guarantee your family's continued well-being!

( Source - The Week - December 2010 )

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on :

T : 02891853478
W :www.caigrahamphotography.co.uk

What the scientists said to avoid in 2010.

2010-12-30T10:26:00.000Z

This year, like any other year, we received a barrage of advice from the 'blokes in white coats'. The question is - Should we be taking any more notice than usual? In previous years we were instructed we should have avoided eggs, salt and the 'wrong kinds of fat' to name but a few ... all because they can be harmful to us. So what were we told to avoid in 2010? We have the usual suspects :

Smoking : Even after the cigarette has been extinguished and the smoker has left the room - the effects can still be harmful. Scientists have warned that nicotine clings to clothing, furniture and even floors, where it can react with a common pollutant to form carcinogenic compounds. I must admit though, most of the smokers I know are considerate enough to stand out in the cold when they have their fix, rather than pollute my soft furnishings! ( says the ex-smoker )

Alcohol : To be avoided at all costs if you are searching for eternal youth. Not only does this make you look older - but it speeds up the aging process. Researchers in Milan University revealed that as people grow older their telomeres shorten, eventually leading to the death of cells. This process is sadly accelerated in heavy drinkers. (Without wishing to bore you - I suggest you Google this).
So to protect your telomeres - put the bottle down.

But, who'd have thought we ought to avoid - Windscreen Water and Romantic Comedies ?

Windscreen Water : can make you dangerously ill. ( Better stick to my usual tipple then ). Warm stagnant water is a haven for legionella - which, if inhaled may lead to Legionnaires' Disease. Adding screen wash to the water will help irradiate the bug; I wonder if an Ice and a Slice do the same ?

Romantic Comedies : Notting Hill is my most favourite movie of all time. I never tire of it - and again this Christmas we all sat around to watch. There we were merrily thinking that this movie was the 'perfect cinematic entertainment' over the festive period. Little did I know that it was going to have a dire impact on my love life. Australian Scientists discovered that it might make me dissatisfied with my partner and would give me an unrealistic expectation of relationships. ( So long as Mike doesn't say Oops-a-Daisies or wear his swimming goggles to the cinema - I think he's safe ).
BUT - Oh my stars - my kids are doomed. Better send them off to immerse themselves in Call of Duty instead !

Well on a lighter note - the researchers did tell us that there were some things that are good for us. But - at the risk of exciting you too much - that's for the next blog post.

( Source - The Week - December 2010 )

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on :

T : 02891853478
W :www.caigrahamphotography.co.uk

Women in Business - Christmas Party

2010-12-15T18:42:00.010Z

Women in Business recently had their annual Christmas Networking Lunch at Radisson Blu Hotel, The Gasworks, Belfast.

There was a Christmas fair, lots of sequins and glittery treats were provided from some of the members :

Bags - The Fashion Souk

Jewellery - Shona Donaldson Jewellery
Pureadorn

Inspired by Emily
Hennies Beads

Online Gifts - Hampton Blue
Natural Healthcare - Forever Living Products and Accupunture

Tailor Made Travel - Bespoke Belfast
Children's books by Mourne Books

We heard a fabulous motivational speech from Our Guest Speaker, Joanne Grant, MD Ireland, JCDecaux; who gave us an insight into the twists and turns in her journey to the top.

After the meal we were treated to make-up demos from the groovy girls from Benefit - though personally speaking I feel I need more than a bit of blusher and lippy to get my face 'party-ready' ;o)

We had a great time - though our quiz did turn into a bit of a bun-fight. Thank you to the Women in Business team for organising such a great event.

T : 02891853478

Need help with the Christmas Shopping ?

2010-12-06T20:55:00.001Z

I know that there are a load of 'Christmassy things' that I should be doing at the minute - as my lists keep reminding me. I have cards to buy ( let alone write and send ) and a mountain of presents to organise - but this cold weather is putting me off going shopping, I just want to stay warm.
Let's face it - Christmas is not quite on my radar. Are you in the same boat? Well, all is not lost.

If you are looking for the perfect present, or something a bit more exclusive; why not consider a gift voucher from Cai Graham Photography ?

We have fabulous Photographic Gift Vouchers for sale, in £25.00, £50.00 and £100.00 denominations.

For vouchers totaling over £250
(in a single transaction)

the booking fee of £75 is waived.

What a brilliant Christmas present for any generation. I can provide bespoke contemporary lifestyle and family portraiture photo sessions which are very relaxed and great fun. Why not get the family together and make it a photo session to remember?

Perhaps you want to treat the 'someone special' in your life. Then the ideal present would be a make-over shoot or a Boudoir session. Let us pamper them and allow them to feel even more special.

Whatever your reason for buying such an imaginative present - give your friends and family something special that will last longer than the turkey and the figgy pudding.

Terms:
1. Gift vouchers can only be redeemed at and through Cai Graham Photography.
2. Gift vouchers cannot be exchanged for cash and are non-returnable or transferable.
3. Gift vouchers which are defaced, altered or cancelled will not be accepted.
4. Gift vouchers may be exchanged for services or products of a higher or equal price to the face value on the voucher(s) purchased.
5. Gift vouchers are valid for six months from the issue date - the expiry date will be indicated on the voucher(s).
6. We reserve the right to change the Terms and Conditions at any time.

So, contact me to make someone's Christmas Day extra special, and it will give them something wonderful to look forward to in 2011 as well.

T : 02891853478
W :www.caigrahamphotography.co.uk

Wedded to technology.

2010-11-21T17:09:00.000Z

Last week I was without for my phone for 7 whole days. I was totally lost. I have my world on my phone.

My phone dictates what I do and when, it beeps to remind me when to do things - who I promised to call, when to deliver albums, the location and timings of my next assignment. Some may understand this - and others may not.

So I had to totally rethink how to operate 'normally' again. Being without this my technical crutch had an impact on everything that I did.

Appointments : I have set up my phone so that whenever I make a new diary entry, my online diary and my computer diary are also updated. Quite techie eh ? No blooming use to man nor beast if you have no means of accessing your online organiser whilst away from your desk. I went out and bought a real diary. I started to record my entries using pen and paper again - and the world did not fall apart.

Calls : Admittedly I found this bit the hardest. Being unable to contact somebody in an emergency or if I was going to be late. But we all managed to cope before the influx of mobile phones, so why not now ? I learnt to sit in traffic, tune into the radio and just wait.

Facebook : When I have a minute or two, I am often updating my profile - or more accurately, reading what others are up to. I could no longer do this. It occurred to me what a total waste of time Facebook can be - if you don't use it sparingly. Instead I took the opportunity of catching up with my reading. I am currently reading A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway. Now this is productive. Beats the heck out of checking on random status updates.

As with all things in life - a little in moderation. But I was relying on my phone to help me run my life - and for a moment I thought that it would all fall apart without it. I am learning to redress the balance. I am spending less time concentrating on these distractions and more time being engaged.

If I was being truthful - I would say that by being separated from my phone I am more relaxed and able to give myself more time and space. I no longer feel "plugged in" all the time. I realised that I don't have to be contactable ALL the time - by clients, family, colleagues ... and whilst it is important that I keep in touch with these people - I realised that the person who allowed me to be caught up with the never-ending to-do lists and to be totally overwhelmed by these demands - was me. I am a victim of my own crazy schedule.

So how do I try and give myself more space in my life ?

Respect time : I waste time - FACT. I need to make the most of the spare half hours. So :

Whilst at my desk - Rather than spend half an hour checking 'stuff', I have decided to access one of the online training websites that I subscribe to. I am now spending quality time at my PC.
Whilst on the move - I am reading again. WooHoo.

Start saying no to things : More often than not, our need to please causes us to say "yes" to things that we really need to be saying "no" to. In fairness it is essential to our well-being to be a lot more selective in the things that we can commit to - so that we give the "authentic" us rather than the pre-occupied version of ourselves.

Allow yourself more time : This is my worst offence. For example - this Thursday - there are 9 entries in my electronic diary. This is a logistical nightmare. Already I am setting myself up to fail. I need to allow myself more time, again, so that I can focus on the matter in hand rather than worry about what I am doing next.

I am now more aware of the fact that it is me and me alone who is in control of my diary. I can dictate how I operate; no longer being the victim of my own unrealistic deadlines and expectations.

I am beginning to smell the roses again.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on:

T : 02891853478

Men are from Mars - and all that Jazz.

2010-11-20T23:46:00.000Z

I was at a dinner party last night and a girlfriend and I got talking about our other halves. By the end of the conversation we were shaking our heads - trying to fathom how on earth the small matter of a difference in just one chromosome could make us so very different. How can our men be so oblivious to our inner workings ?

An example my mate came up with was the question of her birthday presents. For the majority of their married life she has gently informed her 'Darling' that she doesn't like surprises. Yet each year he comes in bearing gifts and ... yup you guessed it - surprises. The end result often being that if she does not burst into spontaneous applause and gratitude then her husband becomes upset and moody. But surely - he is the one who has got it wrong. Can he really be that clueless?

Generally speaking we both agreed that we are very lucky with the men that we have - and we certainly wouldn't be wanting to trade them in. We also gratefully acknowledged that our other halves do indeed love us - and that in itself is something to be cherished and celebrated.
It is however, important for women to acknowledge that we are more verbal and emotional than men and therefore there are likely to be disappointments along the way.

But what we realised was that even though this was the case - we were in danger of expecting them to love us the way we wanted to be loved - by our rules. My aha moment came when I acknowledged that I should relax my demands and accept that his way of showing love might not coincide with my expectations - but they are equally valid.

Men have a currency - something that they treasure. It could be their time, their car, their games of golf with the boys, their money. Because men's love is often communicated through deeds rather than words, if he gives you that which he treasures then this act of love should be worth it's weight in gold over any other muttered platitudes.

Again, the sexes react very differently to squabbles. The male approach is " We have a problem here - so here is how we fix it". The female approach however appears incompatible with this - invariably our view would be - we don't have to fix everything - so long as the issue ( our concerns ) have been acknowledged - that's often good enough for us. Confusing.

Our conversation concluded with the consensus that the key to a successful relationship is perhaps trying to understand how men think rather than why they act the way they do. Generally speaking men need the reassurance that they are doing the right thing - and sometimes ( even when they are not ) it's kinder to all concerned to use the art of diplomacy rather than bring in the tanks. Accept the deed with the grace and the love ( though possibly lack of imagination ) that was intended. Condemning their every move ( though you might be correct ) is going to leave you rather lonely.

Typically Men and women will experience the same relationship very differently - and that's no bad thing. In order for us to feel at ease with these anomalies we should embrace the differences and manage our own expectation.
After all, if we are happy - so is everybody else.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on:

T : 02891853478

Past the Point of no return ...

2010-11-20T19:07:00.000Z

Do you ever feel that you don't know where you are going - passed the point of no return? I do all the time.

When I am using my Sat. Nav. for instance, I regularly miss the turn. Rather than turn around - as instructed, I keep on driving, and let the machine work out a new route for me and I begin to follow the blue line again. Perhaps I am just being lazy ?

This procrastination is really not good - but I get stuck in a rut and feel that it's just easier to do nothing.

Well that's where I have got to with my blog - silly really as I love blogging - but over the summer I was so bogged down with work and family life - that I decided I would resume blogging when the kids went back to school. The problem was that I never did.

I managed to find excuses.

I began to explore different avenues on the work front which kept me busy.

Jack needed an inordinate amount of help with his UCAS application. The whole process seemed very daunting - so for a teenager who wasn't exactly sure either of what he wanted to read or where he wanted to study - we had quite a large mountain to climb. I am pleased to say that we have now completed this task and await offers - with finders and toes crossed.

I was reading this month's Photo Pro magazine. Damien Lovegrove hit the nail on the head for me, writing :

" ... if you spend 30 hours a week on the business, make your workspace a great space to be. It is hard to be inspired when you are working from a place you don't like ..."

Blimey - it's OK for him - he has recently returned from a holiday in the Maldives, where he was able to get his creative juices flowing. No wonder he felt so bl**dy motivated !

In my world - the builders arrived in August. For the past 3 months I have been holed up in the most ridiculously small space that I just felt trapped. BUT - I miss my blog and I miss the focus.

There is light at the end of the tunnel - and our renovations are looking fabulous, so soon enough we will have a great living ( and working ) space; I even get my own office :o)

Anyway - this week I met a mate of mine - who once again asked where my blog had gone. I used the excuse that I was waiting for the launch of my new blog-site. This is true - but it is taking a bit longer than I had hoped - so why not just bite the bullet and resume adding to my current blog.

I am am tired of just standing still.

But until that time I want to regain some control. So rather than ignore the apathy of doing nothing - I am jumping back on the blogging band-wagon and I am going to start posting again.

Thank you Janet - for giving me the kick up the bum that I needed.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on:

T : 02891853478

Reasons to be Cheerful - Monday 26th July 2010.

2010-07-26T22:47:00.000+01:00

My assignment today is to create a link post - and because it's Monday ( regular Reason's to be Cheerful slot. ) Why not amalgamate the two ?

Today, I have been de-cluttering. I have blitzed a large cupboard in Alice's room, which ( let's be honest here ) contained items that she probably hadn't seen in a couple of years. I duly stacked these items into piles for the tip and piles for the charity shop. All have since been delivered to their allocated destination.

This ( fleetingly ) empty cupboard has now been re-stocked with all my photography equipment - which needed a new home as we are about to embark on renovations to the downstairs of our house ( future blog posts loom ).

Not satisfied with de-cluttering my house - I turned my attentions to my computer.
A recent online conversation I had with fellow bloggers introduced me to Google Reader.OK OK so you've all heard about it already. This is new to me - and it became clear that thanks to Google Reader I can clear out my mailboxes on my iMac and be free of all the folders clogging up the left-hand side of my mail.

Using this new-found facility I can group all the blogs in order of relevance and frequency of visits. Yeah so I am organised ( some say obsessively so ). So this is where the assignment to Linking comes in :

Here are my top 5 blogs : Spreading a bit of Bloggy Love

1. Jack Hollingsworth : Photographer
I just love this blog. His writing is sensitive and humourous complimented by his clear and refreshing imagery. His daily posts on his recent " I am ... " series had me waiting on the edge of my seat for the next installment. I kid you not.

2. ProBlogger : Blogger
Darren Rowse the name behind ProBlogger adds another dimension to blogging. It's this guy who encouraged me to sign up to the "31 day build a better blog challenge". Anything you need to know about blogging - you will find it here.

3. Virtual Photography Studio : A Blog for those in the business of Photography
What the creators of VPS say " We want to have everyone who loves photography have the ability to turn their business into a full time career". I just love this site for business advice and ( again ) inspiration to move you business forward.

4. Jasmine Star : Photographer
Oh my stars - I just love this blog format. Just like a magazine - you need a large Latte and about 30 minutes to spare to indulge yourself. It's a photography blog that is making no excuses for being feminine.

5. 1000 Reasons I am a crap Mom :
Through our blog challenge I have been introduced to this lady - whose posts just make me laugh out loud. Refreshingly self-deprecating.

On the back of this - I think I really ought to list my top 5 Tweeters - but that's for another day.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on:

T : 02891853478

Summer Camp plan for every teenager - Where do I sign up ?

2010-07-24T22:07:00.000+01:00

I believe that things come to us for a reason. At present I am not too sure the exact reason why I became involved in this issue - but I am sure time will tell.

Yesterday I was asked to appear on BBC Radio Ulster's Talkback programme ( hosted by Wendy Austin ) to join in a discussion with Basil McCrea MLA about David Cameron's new initiaive : The "National Service" pilot scheme.

When I initially heard of this new scheme I was rather sceptical. My knee-jerk reaction was that this is going to be another quick fix scheme to make the statistics look good and to get the kids off the streets. But I went away and did my homework and returned alot more enthusiastic.

Before I go any further, I want to stress that this is not a political post. It's not really my bag to foist my political opinions on others - so you can rest assured that this is not a partisan rant.

How this scheme will work.

As reported in The Times, this plan is geared toward "galvanising a disaffected generation ... by getting teenagers from mixed social and racial backgrounds together and join in local community activities".
The framework ( as I understand it ) runs a bit like this :

The youngsters choose an interest ( Music, Engineering, Sport, Drama ... ) and are grouped accordingly into teams of 12 - supported by a mentoring system.

Week 1 : Outdoor challenges & team building : The kids will get to know each other as they will be working closely together over the next couple of months

Week 2 : Skills and Service : The participants will live away from home for the week ( eg: University Halls ) where each day is geared to serving separate sections of the community ( elderly, the young ).
Using their chosen interest they have to build a plan to serve their community ( eg : Coaching kids football, entertaining the elderly with a play )

Week 3 : Social Action : The teams will be given an allocated neighbourhood in their community and by talking to the locals the teenagers will have to create a project that will deliver a tangible benefit to that area. At the end of the week each team will have to give a Dragons-Den style pitch to gain funding to implement their proposal.

Weeks 4-8 : Ongoing Social Action : The teams will implement their project. They will also have to create a community day to bring all the locals together.

OK - so alot of this might all be Tory rhetoric ( I have decided to remain open-minded ). Understandably there are also, a number of obvious hurdles. But there are a number of pilot schemes that are currently running and reports coming out are that both the youngsters and the communities seem have have benefitted and enjoyed their experience.

Why are we all so negative ?

I feel that the media have given this scheme some rather unfortunate labels : 'National Service' and 'Boot-camp' seem to conjur up rather negative connotations. These schemes could be fun and empowering - instead we are making it sound like a punishment. Having a look at many of the online comments - it's clear that those promoting the scheme have a bit of an uphill battle.

One of the listeners on the radio discussion commented ( and I paraphrase ) that .. "this boot-camp is a great idea as kids these days get up after mid-day and hang around the streets in gangs creating trouble. The scheme will fail because the teenagers just couldn't be bothered to sign up."

Sir Michael Caine commented that when he was a teenager, he was in a gang. Not with the intention to beat anybody up - but to ensure that he was not beaten up himself. I believe that many of today's disengaged youngsters probably don't want to be in the situations that they are in. So lets give them some hope.

This scheme ( under advice from youth group volunteers ) is not compulsory. We therefore need to incentivise those teenagers who are disillusioned with 'the system' and encourage them to sign-up.
Perhaps with vouchers from local businesses ?

Let us each take responsibility.

Are we all too weary to make an effort anymore ?

I feel ( especially at the minute with this economic climate ) that to make a difference it is up to each and every one of us to step up to the mark and to take responsibility. We should not rely solely on the Government to answer all the problems - but if each of us made an effort to change just a little part of our community - what a difference we could make collectively.

Instead of further alienating the youngsters, why not encourage them and try and give them some support to make a difference. The easy option is to write them off. I am glad that I am not a teenager in today's world - there are so many more pressures and expectations. If the adults don't take these initiatives on board why should the younger generation bother ?

This scheme will only succeed if the Government receives support from local businesses and community groups. Whilst I appreciate that the Government needs to provide strong leadership we all should take ownership.
So as a small business owner - and a mother of two teenagers - I would like to say :

Where do I sign up ?

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on:

T : 02891853478

12 Ways to get more comments on your blog.

2010-07-21T19:01:00.000+01:00

Day 2 : 31 Days to Build a Better Blog : Write a List Post

My task was to build a list post; which if you are a reader of my blog already, you will recognise that this is probably my usual style of writing. The benefits of lists are that they are
   * concise,
   * succinct and
   * they look neat.
I also feel that they lend themselves to the particular way that my, somewhat disjointed, mind works.

I like lists.

But for today's task I was wanting to help some of you other bloggers out there with an issue that I am struggling with at the minute myself.
I am just not receiving comments on my blog.
( Phew - I said it ).
I know that ( some ) people like what they read - because they tell me so. BUT, people seem reluctant to leave a comment.
I have been brainstorming with many bloggers, some of whom are suffering the same plight - but also many who have the answer. So, I have decided to draw up a list. Yay ! Box-ticked.

So now - I need to take a piece of my own advice :

1. Seek Help.
People like to help ( well most of us ). So when our help is sought after, we often like to reply. Same in the blogging world. Ask for help and you will be surprised how many should jump to your aid.
So, Ladies and Gentlemen, if you have any advice for me on how to increase my comments traffic - please do let me know, by leaving a comment.

2. Link Up.
When you link to other websites and blogs, the authors are notified by their blog platforms ( or so I believe - please correct me if I am wrong ). If you go one step further and use the appropriate keywords and phrases you are given a better chance of being noticed. This will increase traffic and will attract like minded readers.

3. Take a Break.
If you have inundated your readers recently with too many posts, then disappear for a while. ( Great timing here as many of us need a break over the summer ). With any luck your readers will welcome you back with open arms. You have heard the phrase " Less is more ".

4. Say it how it is.
Many of us fear of rocking the boat. We worry that we will attract negative comments. But, I guess any comments are better than none at all. Sitting on the fence - although safe - can be rather boring. You know what they say - " Negative publicity is better than no publicity at all. " I wonder in Lindsay Lohan and Katie Price agree with this sentiment ? So long as you keep your cool when responding then at least a you have generated some "interest".

5. Ask for Comments.
As your Facebook friends or your Twitter buddies for comments. Even better if they are bloggers themselves as you will have the chance to reciprocate. If all else fails - shameless begging wont hurt ;o)

6. Respond to comments.
This might sound obvious - but it lets your readers know that you care about what they say and that you appreciate that they have taken the time to write a comment.

7. Extend Comments.
Rather than write a long winded comment on somebody else's blog, post a link in a comment to a related article on your own blog. This is a win-win situation. Linking back benefits everybody.

8. Write about your fears / weaknesses.
We all like to hear about other people's trials and tribulations. I really love being able to empathise and sympathise for a change - rather than always bask in somebody else's sucesses ! By showing your vulnerability, you can often fine a connection with your reader.

9. Write about blogging.
It's a fact that bloggers love to follow other bloggers. Anything that can help us along the way - has got to be good - Right ?

10. Write for yourself.
This one works for me. I find that I write with more passion when I post about something that interests me.

11. Make an Announcement.
Births, Deaths, Marriages, Celebrations ..... These are all great ways of getting a response from your reader.
a ) Because the response can be quick and
b ) the reader does not have to think too hard.
Just take a look at the comments on somebody's Facebook wall when it's their birthday ( It's my birthday today - by the way !! Take a look )

12. Use Social Media to promote your posts.
I use Facebook and Twitter. It's a fantastic way of reaching your followers - and their followers - and their .. 'nuff said !

And as I mentioned before - if you have anything to add to this list - please let me know - by posting a comment !

T : 02891853478

Day One : 31 Days to Build a Better Blog : Elevator Pitch

2010-07-19T23:13:00.000+01:00

I am a fan of Darren Rowse and love both his Problogger Blog and Digital Photography School Community. A couple of days ago, I signed up to his 31 Days to Build a Better Blog Challenge ( 31DBBB ) which is being run with the SITS community - a great group of women bloggers.

The purpose of this challenge is to give bloggers the tools to take their blog to the next level. We are given a series of tasks that will not only equip us with effective blogging techniques we might need, but also to introduce us to like-minded bloggers.I know that I for one, really need the support from the community so that I am accountable to somebody.

Task for Day one : Create an Elevator Pitch.

" An Elevator Pitch is an overview of an idea for a product, service or project "

My Elevator Pitch is to define my blog.

Lets back up a bit :

* What do I do? I take great photographs – but it’s more than that.

So hence my blog was born. I wanted to write a blog so that potential and current clients could understand who Cai Graham is and what makes her tick. I didn't just want to showcase my images. I wanted to show you me and my character.

When allowing someone into your world to photograph you and your loved ones, you really have to like your photographer. The trust and the connection that is made will be reflected in the photographs.

I believe that by writing this blog you can get a view of me as a person as well as a photographer. Hopefully you will like what you see.

So how does my Elevator Pitch define my blog - because my blog is me ! Sounds rather egotistical doesn't it ?

I have therefore decided on a two-pronged approach. I have my tagline - which describes the business and my pitch which describes my blog.

Tag Line :

Cai Graham Photography : Free Range Images. No Studio, No Boundaries.

Blog Elevator Pitch :

Random thoughts of a wedding and portrait photographer – who is primarily raising a teenage family. My blog has to be about me. My brand is my business - It is who I am.

This task did flick a switch for me however : I had a lightbulb moment when I realised that my blog has to be more focused. It's all too easy to record all my ramblings in a self-focused way but this first task has made me realise that I still have a target audience whom I have to entertain. So this is the first step. Let's hope I get it right.

As always comments are appreciated. If I don't ask - then I don't learn - Right ?

T : 02891853478

Reasons to be Cheerful - Monday 19th July.

2010-07-19T22:06:00.000+01:00

Another Monday - and yet again ( I am glad to say ) I have many many things to be thankful for.

The Graham family ( with Jack being a notable exception - as many of you will know, he is trekking in the Himalayas) has decided to remain local for the summer. We opted to take a few short trips around the UK instead of soaking up the sun in far flung lands. We have visited Enniskillen and Liverpool thus far and are heading to London in August.

Initially this thought filled me with dread - let's face it - the Great British weather is not very predictable - but I was heartened by the added benefit. Two weeks in the sun would have allowed us to unwind and shoot the breeze - but holidaying closer to home has forced us to make more of an effort.

1. Enjoying the Great Outdoors.

Whilst in Enniskillen we have played golf, gone for walks and visited some fantasitc activity centres. Even though we are getting slightly wetter than if we were on the Costa-del-Sol, we are having a blast.

2. Family bonding and plenty of laughter.

We are spending a lot more time with members of our family who live further afield. In Liverpool we have stayed with my parents. Alice is spending very precious time with her grandparents - I can hear hilarious laughter over the card table whilst I blog this. It reminds me of the hours of fun that I spent with my Granny. It does my heart good. I look forward to August when we shall be celebrating a collection of family 'significant' birthdays.

3. More time with my camera.

I am out there with my camera - a great deal more. I am recording places that I have previously taken for granted; places that are on my doorstep. We live in a beautiful country and I am starting to appreciate it though a lens.

4. I have found Fabulous Cat Sitter.

She allows us the flexibility to make more spontaneous decisons - and jet off for a weekend. Hoorah !

5. No need for skimpy swimwear - No Cellulite on show.

Best of all, our staycation has boosted my confidence no end. I no longer have to worry about another missed target of reaching my Bikini Body by July ! I don't have to cringe about bearing all the white wobbly bits ! I am empowered to slap the fake tan on the ankles and embrace our summer breaks with a vengeance. No pressure this year.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on:

T : 02891853478

Reasons to be Cheerful - Monday 5th July 2010.

2010-07-05T10:55:00.000+01:00

For one reason or another I have been doing alot of research this week. I am having to make some decisions ( some big and some small ) and have found myself referring to "Good Guides" and to other people's advice for help and inspiration. There is so much information that I just don't know which way to turn.

I am not sure whether these people are experts in these areas - or just other like minded users who want to give their halfpennies worth - but I find that I am taking heed of their words. Some guides are based on facts and figures and others are based on experience and personal opinion. Either way, I find myself pouring over the tomes of information - trying to reach the right decision for me. Lets face it - anything to save a bit of time.

1. The Times : Good Universities Guide.
Oh my stars we are entering unchartered territory here. Jack is having to make choices about which university to go to, which course to apply to and what sort of career he wants. So, this guide is invaluable. I don't know about Jack - but it's helping me decide what doesn't suit, rather than what does. As for the Personal Statement - this is causing real sleepless nights. Are any of you parents suffering like me ?!

2. Amazon - Reviews.
As many of you know, Jack has just embarked on a trip to India where he is trekking in the Himalayas with World Challenge. He needed a camera ( and quick ) so we used Amazon to solve this particular headache. ( I would be lost without it ). The users reviews, I find are great and they helped us get a camera with an exceedingly long battery life. Thank goodness for Amazon Prime as well - guaranteed next day delivery.

3. Tripadvisor.
I am heading to Dublin for a bit of work - and decided to take Alice with me. I wanted a good hotel in the thick of it, with parking. Tripadvisor came up trumps and one kind traveller tipped me off not to stay in a certain hotel as they have the builders in ! Word is on the grapevine, that Brown Thomas have a sale ;o)

4. Which? Magazine.
We are about to move our kitchen ( this will be a source of many blog posts I am certain ). I have to replace all the appliances as most of them are on their last legs. Cue Which? Magazine. Actually more accurately - Which? Online. A wealth of information about virtually any product on the market. What Which? doesn't know about refrigeration - isn't worth knowing !

5. Your Help please ...
I am wanting to travel throughout the UK a few times this Summer. We are not going abroad as the kitchen work is going to hold our attention. I cannot for the life of me find a website which will compare all the airlines. Up until now, I have had to sit at my computer with about 10 windows open comparing the likes of Easyjet and RyanAir, Jet2 and FlyBMI, but nowhere is there a website that does all this trawling for me. Does anyone know of such a facility please ? I would so appreciate your help here. Boy would it save some time.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on:

T : 02891853478

Reasons to be Cheerful

2010-06-28T22:31:00.000+01:00

OK - so I missed a week - did any of you notice ?

I was in Portugal with my girlfriends. That in itself is something to be thankful for. But it's cheating, as strictly speaking I have to be thankful for the week just gone. I have been very busy playing catchup; still however finding things to be grateful for :

1. Dedicated teachers. ( special mention to : Campbell College and Strathearn School )

This Thursday, our son Jack is going on a trip of a lifetime with his school. I am sooo jealous. He will be in India. For the first fortnight the guys are working on a charity project - to help the locals build up their community and the following fortnight they will be trekking in the Himalayas. None of this would be possible were it not for the wonderful teachers who are prepared to give up their time and accompany our children.

Throughout the years both Jack and Alice have been on Duke of Edinburgh excursions, Drama and Language breaks, CCF ( Combined Cadet Force ) assignments, field trips, the list is endless.

With all these Health and Safety rules and the countless miles of red tape the schools have to address - I am surprised these trips actually get off the ground. Thankfully they do - and these wonderful adults give their students the opportunity to experience a great life outside the classroom. Thank you.

2. YouTube.

Blimey I am surprised about this one.

However last week my darling Uncle Mike died after a long battle against the disease PSP ( Progressive Supranuclear Palsy ) - often confused with Parkinson's. As the condition progresses, speech becomes slurred and movement becomes jerkier. Intellect is thought to remain intact. Uncle Mike was a very active man with a wicked sense of humour and as this disease got the better of him it was often hard to remember the man he once was.

I have, in the past associated YouTube with annoying clips of Japanese people swallowing worms or cats falling into rubbish bins. So when I was sent the YouTube link to a slideshow made up by his son-in-law, I began to realise the value that technology can bring. The slideshow helped remind us of Mike as he was before the illness ravaged his body.

3. The great British weather. ( Rain and Shine )

This week has been spectacular by our usual standards. I think that last week we must have seen more sunshine hours than last year's British summer in its entirety! And yesterday was no exception. I was playing in a golf match - which turned into an absolute marathon. We started at 10 o'clock in the morning, and I finally finished at 5.30 in the evening. The saving grace was that we had an absolute downpour as we were walking up the first fairway ( for the second time ). Because there was thunder, we had to walk in. I went home for a shower and a bite to eat ( watched Frank Lampard's "un-goal" ) and went back to finish the match an hour later. Not very refreshed but dry.

We lost our match on the 21st hole.

4. Good Samaritan.

Alice was out with friends on Saturday - shopping in town. She was in Topshop taking photographs of herself and a friend whilst the others were trying stuff on. She got home - safe and sound - WITHOUT her camera. Her NEW camera. I had a sense of humour failure. We phoned on the off chance; and thankfully some very kind ( honest ) soul had handed the camera into security. I don't know who that person was, young or old, male or female. But it did make me remember that there are some kind people still out there.

5. Our soldiers.

Saturday 26th June was Armed Forces Day. What more can I say ?

It is an opportunity for us to show our support and appreciation to the service men and women who protect us on a daily basis.

Alice hit the nail on the head today when she said that our soldiers and our footballers should swap salaries. The value that each profession brings is incomparable.

Thank you each and every one of you. Take care and come home safely.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on:

T : 02891853478

Reasons to be Cheerful

2010-06-15T00:03:00.000+01:00

Last week was relatively good - albeit extremely chaotic.
And I am thinking, during these frantic moments, it's not the materialistic things we have that make the difference, but the precious moments we have and the people we have around us. This week, my thanks go to the kind folk ( feline or otherwise ) who have helped lessen my load and made life a little bit easier

Through their own work or just their plain thoughtfulness, my feathers have been unruffled.

1. My Cats. Jessie and Figaro.

They say that pets are good stress relievers. Well, Figaro is just that. He is a 16 year old bruiser who basically moves from one hot spot in the house to another. When I come back in another life, I want to be a cat, preferably a Graham cat, 'cos for them life is good. Jessie, being a 7 month old whirling dervish does raise my blood pressure somewhat, but she tries very hard to be good.

2. Keith Martin : Avalon Chiropractic.
For the past 12 months I have been plagued with a dicky back and diabolically sore feet. I have visited many professionals ranging from podiatrists to physios. During one painful bout, a mate of mine suggested I visit Keith - a chiropractor. I was reluctant ( as I am not too keen on all that bone crunching ) - but I had reached the point where enough was enough. Well, all I can say is that I am a convert - and I am now thankfully ( virtually ) pain free. This is down, for the main part, to Keith. Problem is now there is no pain - there is no real excuse for my atrocious golf !

3. David Clark : Sams Photo Lab.
I have been trying to calibrate my monitor again, with varying degrees of success. My prints are dark and the calibration software is truly getting the better of me. I have been liaising with my print lab, trying to sort out my issues. David, quite frankly deserves a medal, he has the patience of a saint - and has answered all my silly questions with courtesy. He has made this calibration minefield just a little bit easier to navigate.

4. Veronica Weir : Driving Instructor.
Hoorah ! Somebody is teaching Jack to drive ! Yahoo !
This does not mean that I will not take him out for practice runs when he gets his confidence up - and I am able to relax. But for the sake of the already, great relationship that I have with my son, I think that it's important to delegate this rather taxing task. Thank you Veronica.

5. My Book Club.
Ladies, than you for not getting cross with me - for not reading the book. Actually, thank you for not raising an eyebrow, when I admitted that I hadn't even bought this month's required read. I have absolutely no time at the minute to read my shopping list - let alone a book. But I do like meeting up with the girls and having a bit of craic.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on:

T : 02891853478

How do you get your Teen to talk to you ?

2010-06-10T12:25:00.000+01:00

It's a minefield being a parent of a teenager - so having two to cope with can really be quite demanding!

I remember when I was my kids' age. It was a very confusing time. I often say that I am glad I am not a teenager in now. There are more pressures on today's youth - and I believe that the expectations are so much higher.

Thankfully, however - I feel that nowadays we are more willing to talk about our issues and concerns. Well, we appear to be - but how on earth do you get your teenager to open up to you and talk about their concerns ?

When I ask my kids how they are getting on, it is translated into me being nosey or trying to interfere. This is just not the case. There are alot of things I don't want to hear about thanks very much; but it just sets my mind at ease knowing that my kids are able to deal with their issues and that they are coping OK.

I am by no means an expert at this - but with Jack ( aged 17 ) and Alice ( aged 15 ), I guess I am learning about this stage of parenthood through the "Trip and Fall method".
Sometimes I get it right - very often I do not. But I am learning all the time and hope to improve as I go. What I have realised is the following :

1 ) Showing them that I care.
The fact that I tell them that my door is always open seems to help. Without pushing for answers immediately. I tell them that whatever time of day ( or night ) I am there for them. This gives them the space to come to me if they need to.
2 ) Unconditional Love.
No matter what my kids throw at me - they have to know that I will always love them and that I will try my damnedest not to judge them. Believe me - this is easier said than done sometimes ! What I have to tell myself - is that whilst I do not like the behaviour - I still love my child.
3 ) Respect the difference in the sexes / personalities.
Girls, by their very nature are more willing to open up and talk about things. They appear to be more at ease thrashing out their problems and just talking them through. Boys, on the other hand are ( initially ) more resistant to talking things over. This has to be respected and acknowledged. For me - car journeys are a great way of just breaking down the barriers. By keeping my eye on the road and just talking, it appears that I am not scrutinizing exactly what is being said.

4 ) You can't make them talk.
I have made the mistake of thinking that if they are not telling me stuff - then they must be hiding something. Where invariabley, they just don't have much to say and want to be left alone. I am now learning to back off and give them some space.
5 ) Understand their environment.
In some areas my kids are better informed than I am ! When I was young I was not exposed to drugs. And I still I don't understand this area very well. In truth, it terrifies me. But a friend of mine put things into context - and made me realise that I cannot sweat the small stuff. She said " One drink or cigarette won't kill you - but one pill or one hit could." Kids are going to experiment - I certainly did - but we all have to understand what is "safe".
We didn't have to worry about going into a bar and knowing never to leave your drink unattended. Kids nowadays are alot more savvy. We have to educate them and then give them the credit to act responsibly.
6 ) Never let them regret their honesty.
I am learning ( fast ) that, should a young person open up to you - that they must never regret telling you stuff; otherwise that door is shut for good. Sometimes I feel the need to "help" immediately. This is not always the right approach. So long they are safe - then if they take a little bit longer to resolve their issues - that has got to be better for them. It empowers them to cope better the next time.
I would often be a bit like a run-away train in my need to take over and make things better. I am learning to hold-fire for a while.
7 ) Show you are human too.
My kids know only too well my failings and my insecurities - I wear my heart on my sleeve. But I don't think that this does any harm. It shows that we don't all have the answer - and life can be a struggle sometimes whatever our age. I do try and remember ( and instill in my kids ) the phrase ... " This too shall pass."
8 ) Stay Calm.
There is a lot to be said for a stiff G&T ( yikes - I have given up the booze ;o) ). It's important not to over-react and to remain calm. Fear of parents flying off the handle, often makes teenagers withhold information and clam up.
9 ) Just listen.
Sometimes all your child needs is the support to know that you are listening. It's not always important to have the best solution and the magical answers. Sometimes empathy is the best answer. Oh, and a very big HUG.

10 ) Treat them like adults.
Our teenagers are no longer children ( though they will always be my babies ). We need to understand this. I now feel that guidance is most appreciated if sought by them rather than foisted on them by me. I am learning that it is important to treat them with the love and respect that I want in return. I keep coming back to what my darling Granny always said " Do as you would be done by. " It still rings true today.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on:

T : 02891853478

Monday - Reasons to be Cheerful.

2010-06-07T18:25:00.000+01:00

I have been following lots of blogs recently - many of which have a similar theme. Things that we are grateful for. One such blog : A Beautiful Mess : had a post a while back about "10 reasons why I love Sundays". I just love this idea - and I feel that it might do me good to adopt this as a personal project for a while.

I am thinking perhaps I might set this up for Mondays. I very often get that Monday Morning Blues where I wistfully bid farewell to the weekend past and have to galvanize for the week ahead; recognising the need to create some purpose again ( and productivity ).

What better undertaking than to be thankful - for a short time - before I get down to business.

This being my first "Thankful" post - I know that I will find it hard to restrict myself to just 5 things. Let it always be a given that I am thankful for my family and our health. That is always at the very top of my list. I will however highlight some of the other aspects of my life that I am grateful for. Some may appear trivial; but I will try and keep them relevant to the week I have just enjoyed.

Forgive me if this appears an indulgent post - but what the heck !

1. Long Hot Baths : BUT - I never seem to have the time to enjoy this little luxury. Whenever I am on holiday a bubbly bath is definitely one of my "me-time indulgences". Our bathroom at home is not unlike the Black Hole of Calcutta. It is a cold and soulless place. Thankfully we are in the process of redesigning this horrid place. Hopefully this will become my new Elysium.

2. Andrew : Is my knight in shining armour! He comes every Wednesday to clean my house. I know that having a cleaner is a luxury - and this is why I do not take him for granted. Actually he is a necessity. I just cannot clean properly. ( Give me 6 baskets of ironing and I am happy as Larry - watching re-runs of Columbo and Poirot ) but I just don't have the time or the inclination to don my Marigolds. So for the sake of my sanity ( and to avoid rebellion from my family ) Andrew helps me keep our house looking spick and span.

3. Fresh Flowers : They just make me feel good. Nothing too extravagant. Just a simple bunch in the hallway to greet me whenever I walk in through the door. They just make my heart glad.

4. Caffeine : I need a fix of something ! I don't smoke ( gave up this horrible habit 19 years ago ). I have recently given up booze as well ( blimey I sound a laugh a minute ! ) For a while I substituted this with chocolate - but my thighs started to protest - so for the sake of my tightening waistband I had to find an alternative. It is now caffeine! My cup of tea gently wakes me up in the morning and my 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock coffee gives me the jolt I need to keep me going throughout the day. I'd be telling fibs if I said that I only had 3 cups a day however ! Last Father's Day I bought Mike a Nespresso machine - it's worth its weight in gold !

5. Hands Free : As most of us are - I am always strapped for time and I find that my car journeys are a great opportunity to catch up on my phone calls. Every morning, after the school run, I phone my Mum and Dad - just to catch up and to tell them that I love them. This is an important time for me. I live in Northern Ireland and they live in Liverpool - so we don't see each other as much as we would like. Using this time to say hello is crucial to me.

So there we are ... 5 things I am grateful for.

For further information, to make an appointment for your photography consultation or to check on current availability, please feel free to contact Cai Graham Photography on:

T : 02891853478